Thank You

Tonight I just wanted to say a few "thank yous" to people. I'm not sure how long this post will be as I haven't felt well the past week or so (before the scan results even) and I plan on turning in early tonight in hopes of not feeling so extremely exhausted tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone who left me comments on Wednesday's post. It means alot when I post something just to get it off my own mind and others actually care enough to respond. I think that's one of my favorite things about blogging...the caring. I'll admit that yesterday I had a little bit of a pity party for myself but it's only because no matter how sure I might be that the questionable spots are nothing, at some point everyone who has cancer has thought the same thing and it's not always true. I guess a part of me is worried because I don't have the best of luck as most of you know. I'll admit I'm worried but I refuse to make myself even sicker because of it. So yesterday I went through the "what ifs" in my own head and then I let them go. They will come back only if I'm told they need to.

I also had to get through my disappointment at being told the medullary cancer was back in my neck already. On one hand I'm glad to hear that it's someplace operable but on the other hand it's hard because I had just come to terms with the scar I already have on my neck. It just began fading this year and I was just starting to feel okay about it. Now I know for sure that they will be cutting in new places and I will have to start all over again. It may sound vain but it hurts. I guess I would liken it to someone going through chemo losing their hair. You KNOW that if you have to choose your hair or your life then you will gladly give the hair but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. Those are my feelings about my neck. It's hard to let go of what I use to look like and look in the mirror at what I am now and still feel thankful. I DO but it's a mental thing I think we all have to get through. I will though and I'm finished feeling sorry for myself so don't worry.

Thank you to everyone who has included me in their posts since Wednesday. I was a little surprised to see the posts and very thankful. Donna included me in her post today and even made a donation to the Susan Komen Foundation in my name. Her gesture brought me to tears and I once again thank DotMoms for introducing me to her. It's taken us awhile to get to know each other but it's been well worth the wait, she's a really great person and I enjoy reading her blog.

Andrew dedicated a song on his Flashback Fridays post to me today. While his choice of song (Cory Hart? Are you kidding me? You will pay for that one...once I'm done remembering how sweet the thought is of you) made my eye twitch...okay so I giggled just like he knew I would and for that I thank him very much for knowing what I needed today. It's funny how well people can get to know you even when they live many states away. Again, I love that about blogging.

Last but definately not least, Christy over at Christy's Coffee Break feels I am worthy of yet another award from her. This time she has given me Polliwog's "Good Buzzz Blog Award".

Isn't it cute? Thank you Christy for always thinking of me and including me when you hand out the love. I know there are many people you have contact with on a daily basis so knowing that you still remember me means alot. Maybe one of these days we'll be blondes or brunettes at the same time too right? LOL.

Well it has taken me an hour to type this up (kept losing my train of thought LOL) so I will end it here until tomorrow. I just want to leave all of you with one more "Thank you" and hope that you all know how grateful I am to have such great blogbuddies. :)