Tuesday, August 26, 2014

And She Thought SHE Shouldn't Tell!!

First of all I know, I'm a shitty blogger. I abandoned my blog and now would be surprised if even one person reads this. What can I say? I lost my writing mojo for a lonnnnggg time. I think the bitch went to the Cayman Islands without me. Now she's back with a really nice tan and hopefully ready to get back to work.

Will you forgive me? I'm not promising that I'll start writing all the time again but I have so many funny things that Hyper Heathen has said that I want to share. Later. Not today. Today someone else made a funny for me and I wanted to comment on and share that.

Today on Facebook the story The Awkward Parenting Story I Probably Shouldn't Tell came across my news feed. Just the picture alone was enough to get me to read the story and I found myself laughing at how horrified this mom was that she said, "UNO BITCHES!" to her kids. The faces they all recreated too were pretty fucking awesome!

I'm sorry but at the same time I have to say pffftttt amateur! She needs to know she is STILL a pretty perfect parent. I bet SHE will probably never say, "Haha Muthafucka!" to her teen and then grown children. I'm sure she'll never tell her daughters, "DAFUQ DUDE?!" Does she tell her kids, "Don't act like an asshole. You're acting like an asshole! Stop It!!"? Probably not.

I could write a fucking book on my parenting fails when it comes to cursing at, around, or to your kids. Am I proud? Well there IS a fucked up Little Jo inside me that probably is but mostly it just is what it is. Shit happens and if that's the worst thing someone ever does with their kids then I'm fine with that.

I curse. My kids know I curse. My friends know I curse. I don't curse around other people's children, babies, or nuns. I HAVE cursed around a preacher or two. They were being dicks. I'm not ashamed.

When I posted about this on Facebook my 23 year old said, "I'm a little annoyed that I never got to hear you say, 'UNO BITCHES' to us". See, my kids are pretty damn funny themselves so I guess mama being a potty mouth didn't destroy them.

 And yes, my daughter and I have a text war once a week to see who can call the other one the worst word possible. Winner gets bragging rights for the week. She's 20... this started when she was 16. She's getting really good at it now and I'm proud. Why? Cuz das my mini-bitch.

Uno Bitches! Fucking UNO!!


Jessica said...

Yep, we are sisters from another mister! I cussed a blue streak in front of my Godchild, while her and my bestie were here for a week in June. Luckily, she has already heard it all before. My mouth just isn't used to being around children anymore. XD My mom may have never yelled "Uno Bitches", but she did yell "Pinochle! Fuckers!"

Mabon Stitcher said...

Clearly this went over my head. I tend to not swear so what I'm getting from this is "uno" like the game? Bitches play uno too. Or U No. As in a casual "You know bitches....." Or "you know! bitches!"

Either way. The Bitches you know, wanna play Uno with you Amazon. 😉