Tuesday, June 05, 2007

NEVER Click On "Next Blog"!!

Do you know what clicking that little “Next Blog” button on the NavBar does? It takes you to some pretty weird shit that’s what!! I’m one of those people who have to be doing several things at once in order to think so while I was trying to think of something to post I decided to give the “Next Blog” feature a try. I figured maybe I would find something funny to talk about or a cute cartoon to post. Well NEVER AGAIN!!

I have a few questions to ask…

1- Why the hell start a blog and then not write in it? Hey moron, quit wasting a perfectly good blog URL if you’re not going to use it! Here’s a thought, delete the damn thing so it’s one less site the rest of us have to wade through while surfing.

2- Why is it that the really sicko blogs are always the ones that have removed their NavBars? I’m sorry but the minute I read anything that has to do with the words “Daddy fantasy” and “hard spanking” my ass is already trying to go on to something else. Don’t remove the navbar anymore or next time I might just leave you a nasty comment and I don't mean the kind that will turn you on! I can't wait to see the traffic I get thanks to posting those two little phrases. OY!!

3- Why is it every time you accidentally come across something like that it’s the exact moment that your teenager decides they want to come see what you are doing. Around here the convo went a little something like this…

Big B- "Um Mom, do you have Daddy issues you want to talk about"?

Mom- "Ewww NO, I just ended up on this blog while surfing and now I can’t get away from it"!

Big B- "Uh huh, if I ever see you wearing leather and holding a whip I swear I’ll send you the shrink bills from my therapy sessions".

Mom- "Honey, if I ever get to the point where I think my fat ass would look good in leather and that a whip is the perfect accessory I’m sure I’ll have my own shrink bills to worry about".

Big B- "Oh so now you’re not even going to pay the bill for screwing me up? Seeing the words “Daddy fantasy” might really have messed me up for life. Now I’m going to end up a hobo with issues that nobody will love because all I’ll be able to say is “No Daddy fantasy No Daddy fantasy”.

Mom- "You’re a rotten shit you know that? You’re just pissed that there wasn’t a cool picture of a dominatrix on the blog to look at you little perv".

Big B- *snickering* "I didn’t even notice. Ya think we could find it again"?

Mom- "Yeah, right after I don the leather undies and break out the whip. Go to bed ya weiner"!

Big B- "Okay now I'm just going to be sick. Thanks alot Mom"!

Mom- "You're welcome as always dear. Sweet dreams". *snicker snort*


samuel said...

I have to say, your conversation was helpful to me, reminding me that my kids are young enough not to have gotten anything you just said. I still have a couple of years (I hope) to prepare for that sort of thing.

So thanks for that!

flutter said...

HA! That is beautiful

Anonymous said...

LOL! Enjoyed this post very much. I also have gone snooping in Blogger land by clicking on the "Next Blog" too. Sometimes I find a really nice site, but often I seem to get trapped on a page with no "Next Blog" button but all kinds of glitter and floaty things or, worse, a nude body part in my face--oops! Yeah, it's an adventure out there!!

Anonymous said...

That's so true. WHY do they put up the nasties and then take away your ability to leave? And you know... it isn't only the teenagers that come in curious wondering what you're looking at... My 4 year old seems to think this is the perfect time to come running "Mommy what are you watching?" or "Mommy I have to tell you sumtheeen!" *headdesk*

AJ said...

you know I thought I was the only one. LoL... I noticed that when I had the alt mommy blog on blogger... I would get pissed and wonder why in the hell am i at some blog thats not even in english with wierd nekkid chicks... whatever... you'd think with all the google genius behind blogger they could direct people to other blogs in the same genre. Oh well.

I love that picture of the cat!

Anonymous said...

These would have to be two of my LEAST favorite things...the next blog crap (what are the chances of it ever being something nice?) and then the teenage..."So what are you looking at MUM?" just as the crap loads onto the page LOL

Jonzie said...

I can't believe you waited that long to check out the "next blog" feature! Did you?! It's incredible the amount of blogs with only one post or two... But hey! I have to say it's also interesting somehow to see how many weirdos are around, don't you think? ans sometimes you bump into some nice blogs too!

Slackermommy said...

I'm with you! That next blog button has to be the dumbest feature ever!

Summer said...

LOL Now that you've learned your lesson you'll know to never, never, never want to see what's out there. LOL

Jo said...

Sam- I don't think you are ever quite prepared for it. LOL

Deb- the nudey booty blogs are enough to drive a girl to drink!! Ewwww

Lizz- Remind me to tell you sometime what happened when I was looking up LOLcatz pictures with my 4 1/2 year old on my lap. WORST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!!

Amy- I think Google and Blogger do that to us on purpose. I think they take all the really sucky blogs and hook them up to the "Next Blog" machine to punish us. It's just MY theory but I'm going with it. ;) lol

MGL- I think the teens have a built in radar for it. Kind of like ALL kids have built in radar that goes off just when mommy and daddy get within a foot of each other! LOL

Jonzie- Yes, that really was the first time I tried that feature. I was a Next Blog Virgin until then. What a way to be deflowered!

Karrie- I'm thinking about removing the navbar from MY blog just to piss off people in the future. Revenge!!!!

Summer- honey, I'm crawling back in my non-Daddy fantasy box and staying there!!

Anonymous said...

Daddy issues? Eew!

David said...

That is too funny. I have made the mistake of trying to surf with that button. Never again! Now I just click random blogs on other people's blog-rolls. I still bump into a few nasties, but not like that Next Blog Button.

handinhandaus said...

lol good to know I'm not the only one - never again!! I couldn't agree with point number 2 anymore either, the next button is always removed. Like you I too have a teen arrive at just that moment that I can't work out how I'm going to get out of that blog, it's very hard to try and look blaise while trying to cover a monitor with your arm ;)

Homemom3 said...

heheh oh you just gave me something to blog about so after i post here i'm going to blog. YOu have to read it too. Anyways, this reminds me of a time I told soccerboy about my writing, he wanted to read it so we looked up my name on clicked on a baby article I wrote. It was no longer my article, instead it was a porn site and one i'll never forget. Ewww

Jennifer said...

I completely agree! That damn nav bar being removed has put me in some awkward positions more than once. And what's with all the porn!?

Funny post!