Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Finally Facing The Facts

As most of my readers know I have metastatic cancer but I'm sure you also know that I've tried very hard to keep that part of my life off this blog. It seems as soon as I told my readers about this part of me I did them and myself the disservice of pretending that it's no big deal and then proceeded to joke my way through the last few years. I now realize that by doing this I'm not facing it but instead pretending it's not there. By making sure most of my medical posts are on Cancer Is The "Easy" Part..., I have been able to make Life With Heathens the place where I am normal and just like everybody else. If I could delegate the cancer and MEN2a to my medical blog then I could pretend it's not there right?

This year though it has gotten harder for me to seperate the two because at times life really is all about the cancer and health issues whether I want it to be or not. So instead of trusting you guys (and myself) to be able to take the whole package I've just not been posting much. For that I apologize to all of us.

There is a mama named Lisa at Clusterfook who is fighting her third battle with cancer. She is facing this newest trial with such grace and she is so inspiring to others of us who are living with cancer. Even faced with the knowledge that the odds are against her this time to beat it, she is fighting with everything she has. This lady and others like her have unknowingly given me a great gift.

That gift is accepting that the cancer and disorder are a part of me, a part that is going to be with me until I die. I've never felt sorry for myself and even when I was diagnosed I really didn't cry much at all. When my oldest two children were diagnosed with MEN2a and cancer then you better believe I cried. It sucked so bad and was so unfair. All the diagnosis' hit us so quickly that all I could think in the midst of it was "What the fuck"!

From now on I will be posting about ALL parts of my life except one and that is my children. I don't mind blogging about them occasionally but I will never be one of those bloggers who talks about their kid's shit or how cute they look wearing mommy's bra on their head. So blogging about my kids will continue the same as it always has. What will change is that I will share the "sick girl" part of my life with you more and not relegate it just to a medical blog.

I have nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be hiding from my cancer. I shouldn't feel like I have to be funny all the time so people who read this blog won't get bummed out. I can still be my usual sarcastic funny self but it's okay to also admit that sometimes I'm not doing so hot. As someone said earlier, I'm part of an exclusive club. I didn't ask to join it and I will never be happy to see new members come in but I'm proud of the person I've become in the last three years since I was diagnosed. I'm stronger, smarter, a better person, a better mother, and more alive than I've ever been.

So on a brighter note, I have been able to do a little blogsurfing lately and I'd like to share some of these amazing people with you. Most of them probably have no clue I even exist but I know they are out there and that I'm really not the only mom/person dealing with cancer. I hope you will read their blogs and maybe leave them an encouraging comment. Some are new finds while others have been in my blogroll both here and at CITEP.

Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down (this woman's HUSBAND also has cancer! Amazing!)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Even The Dentist Is Out To Get Me

Have you ever had the feeling that everyone in the known universe is out to get you? Up until today, I've been thinking that it's mostly just doctors who have it out for me. *nervous laugh* Boy have I been wrong!

Today I had a dental appointment to have molds made of my teeth and I figured that since my top right molar has been hurting me lately, I would ask the dentist if we could have it pulled soon. It just so happens that he was able to do it today so silly me thought it would just be a regular run of the mill tooth pulling. I am happy to say that the tooth came out like a normal tooth and the pain hasn't been all that bad.

No, the bad part happened about two hours ago when I felt something hard moving around in my mouth. Thinking it was part of my tooth coming out, I pulled the object out to find not a tooth but a DRILL BIT!! That's right, the dentist had failed to inform me that at some point he broke the end off of a drill bit in my mouth. Maybe it's just me but I think that's something that should be shared with a patient don't you? Even my husband was shocked and believe me, it takes A LOT to surprise that man!

So tomorrow I get the pleasure of calling the dentist's office and asking them what the hell they were thinking (or not thinking) by not letting me know that there could be a piece of metal floating around in my tooth socket. I'm so fucking sick of incompetant doctors I could honestly scream. *sigh*

I would now like to open comments to anyone else who would like to share their dental horror story for the sake of making ME feel better. Just kidding but I would like to hear your stories in hopes that it's not just me that attracts crap like this.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Great Google-y Moogley!

After checking Statcounter today I couldn't help but post about some of the recent searches people have done thus bringing them to MY blog. Are you ready? Here we go...

1) "how to get friends naked at a party"~ Well I've found that lots of booze and a nice game of Nakey Twister gets things going.

2) "girls talking about getting naked with friends"~ Okay, typical male there. FYI, usually when "girls" talk about getting naked with friends it's because they are trying on clothes at the mall or just comfortable to go in the buff. It's not half as kinky as you wish.

3) "naked friends"~ Yes dear Googler, some people have naked friends. Good job Einstein!

4) "revenge i have the cell phone number address driver license info"~ Wow, someone is obsessing aren't they? I'm all for going after someone who has done you wrong (which is blatantly apparent if you read my deadbeat posts here on the blog or visit my MySpace page) but go slow there tiger. If you have that info for constructive reasons like to get say child support or such then go for it but doing it for out and out senseless revenge makes you bordering on stalking sweety. Get a hobby mmmkay?

5) "real naked massages"~ Most full body massages DO have you get naked genius but I'm afraid they won't play with your wittle peepee as part of it. Ask the guys at the local truckstop where to get one of the "me so horny" kinds of massages.

6) "why does joanne have to be such a bitch?!"~ Well, maybe Joanne was just born a bitch and can't help herself. Maybe entering a program like Bitches Anonymous will help Joanne stop being such a bitch. Does Joanne think she's a bitch? Maybe YOU are the bitch. Think about it my friend...

Is anyone else seeing a theme going on here? *snort*

7) "hot nakey"~ Hot nakey what?? Great, now I'm left wondering what the hell they wanted hot nakey of! DAMN YOUUUUU!!!

8) "kirk coiner"~ The searches for this one have come from several states. Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm

9) "how to get woman naked in hot tub"~ Please see Google search number 1. Here's a thought though, why don't you just ask her if she'll strip for the hot tub? *shrugging shoulders*

and last but not least...

10) "doing house chores naked video"~ Yeah, I'm not touching that one with a 20 foot poll. Some people have issues even I can't explain. *wink*