Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Things A Parent Probably SHOULDN'T Say To Their Kid:

Im backkkkkkkk! The blogging bug has hit me recently and I figure its about damn time I do something about it! So I will set the stage for how this blog is going to go with my first post. If you are easily offended then this blog isn't for you. If you like sarcasm, aren't bothered by a potty mouth that would make Dane Cook cringe, and like to laugh then Hello my friend!

Things A Parent Probably SHOULDN'T Say To Their Kid:

1) "Quit talking and GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!"

2) "Ignore your father, he's an idiot"

3) "Your grandmother is a psychotic whore" (my egg donor)

4) "Don't go in his house, he's probably a fucking pedophile!" (A neighbor)

5) "Tell your father to quit being an asshole, but don't SAY asshole you're not allowed"

6) "That kid ever touches you again punch him in the throat!"

7) "If your AWANAS leader tells you one more time that we should all get baptized, tell her Mommy worships Satan and the only reason she lets you come to AWANAS is because she thinks its a scout troop that allows gays. Nevermind don't say that!"

And last but not least...

"See that kid over there? Don't act like him because he's acting like a douchebag. He's one worth ganking" (Ganking is a word that my 10 year old and I picked up off our favorite show, Supernatural. It means kill on the show but mostly we use it as a way to say they need hushed up).


Anonymous said...

Love it.

BTW, watch your mail...

Anonymous said...

I am always up for a laugh, bring it on!