About/Contact

Contact;

Need to reach me? Feel free to send me an email at lifewithheathens@gmail.com


About Me;

I’m Jo, the thirty-something mom of three heathens living in New Mexico. When I’m not rocking in a corner after a long day of playing mommy, I like to write smart-ass posts, irritate my husband, piss off my two adult children, and dream about being a kickass Roller Derby Diva.

I'm also a homeschooler to my son with ADHD, cancer owner (Yes, I OWN that bitch! Don't tell her I said that please!), lazy blogger, and Amazon Goddess blessed with a foul mouth that would make Dane Cook cringe.

Makes me pretty damn awesome doesn't it? ;)

Life With Cancer, Kids, And Crayons

I'm sure you're wondering just what cancer, kids, and crayons could all possibly have in common. Well over the years I've found that all three can be very messy, they all meltdown at some point, they are all quite colorful, and all three can help you "draw" a very personal picture of something wonderful that you never knew existed.

As a mother living with cancer I've decided to focus on the funny, bright, and happy things in my life rather than the bad. Before the cancer, I used to be one of those people who always wanted more, needed to be more, and thought I was less. These days though I can honestly say that you never realize just how many wonderful things there are out there until you think you are going to lose them. Cancer has made me thankful for everything I do have and care less about what I don't.

My kids are, of course, my greatest gifts. They make every day not only worth living but worth living better. I now try to live my life as an example for them so they too will be able to be strong as they face their own battles with cancer. I want them to be able to face life in a positive way and know that everything really is alright.

So the cancer I will consider as renting space in my body (and I refuse to get an eviction notice before it does!), the kids I will continue to cherish more each day, and the crayons I am going to use hopefully to draw a good picture for my 3-year-old. He tells me the one I drew yesterday looked more like a turtle than a T-Rex and that just will not do. Who taught him to be such a critic anyway?

Truly live each day like it's your last. Enjoy it, fill it with love, let your heart be known, and don't forget to dance whether anyone is looking or not. ;)

Everybody Poops..Nooooo Really?

In case you didn't know this is seriously a book that someone published about 10 years or so ago. If you don't believe me just look here... Everybody Poops . See, told you so.

Anyway- so this book sits in the waiting room at my family practioner's office and everytime we go in one of my children (usually one of the older two) picks it up and reads it. This wouldn't be such a big deal if it was the three year old who is potty training but no, instead it is more times than not the 11 year old who thinks this is the funniest thing she's ever seen.

Here is how the conversation usually goes...

"Mom, this book says Everybody Poops and it has animals pooping in it!"

"That's nice hun. Your point is??"

"Holy crap Mom, it shows a kid sitting on a toilet pooping!"

"I'm not sure his crap is Holy but I do believe the toilet is the right place for pooping dear and don't say crap it doesn't sound nice coming from a little girl."

"Ewwww it says one humped camels have one humped poop. Is that true? That's so nasty!"

"Yes Sis it's true and Santa's reindeer poop candy canes too. Would you put that damn book down please?"

"Why is it showing everybody from the back taking a dump?"

"I don't know. Maybe they want to show that not only does everbody poop but they also all have an asshole that it comes from too."

"That's just wrong, Mom"

"Well so is you reading that damn book and grossing out everytime we come here. Here, go read Everybody Farts and leave me alone would ya?"

Seriously, this is how the conversation goes while the oldest child is raising an eyebrow and snorting while thumbing through Sports Illustrated and the youngest child is tapping on the aquarium telling the fish to quit hiding and talk to him.

Yes, everybody poops.... shocking as hell isn't it?

Oh Yeah, We DID Make It

Rather rude of me not to post something sooner isn't it? I just left you hanging and wondering if we ever made it to our new home. Well we did so now you can stop wondering. Thank you for reading, have a nice day, and Happy Holidays. :D

Just kidding. Well we're still trying to get settled in. Things have been hectic to say the least so some rooms are still in boxes and not everything has a place. I'd love to tell you WHERE we moved to but since my mother loves to stalk me on the internet I will just say that we moved to another state. :D

I am now homeschooling all three children. Thank you very much sucky public school system. So glad people pay taxes so you can screw them over when they need you. Anyway- even a screw up like me can do a better job than what my kids were getting in public school so we'll be okay. Found all new doctors except for a ped endo for the kids but that's another story.

So just writing my articles for a few sites, trying to get unpacked, cleaning when I can, getting ready for the holidays, taking care of kids who are taking turns getting sick, and trying to keep my always feel like crap self going. LOL. I'll start writing REAL updates very soon. ;)

We're Off To See The Wizard.

Okay so we're not REALLY off to see the wizard but we are off as in ready to move. The house is almost completely packed up and we get the truck tomorrow so we can start packing it. Everyone is getting excited and I think we're all ready for this.

As of today we are eating the gourmet meals (aka microwaveable) off the fine china (aka paper plates, cups, and plasticware) and using our best napkins (yep, that would be the papertowels). We figured that once the kitchen is clean we want it to stay that way so no using the stove or oven. Besides, I packed all the pots and pans last night. :D

Moving with this family scares me. The last time we moved from one state to another was pure hell. Vin was a bear, I had a 6 month old that screamed bloody murder half the way, and two other kids that complained constantly about how bored they were. I was ready to leave them all in Alabama at one point but of course I couldn't.

This time it will be an almost 3 year old, a teenager, and a preteen. Oh yeah, and Vin again. ;) So that will be one bear who feels we're going to slow, a preschooler who wants out of his seat and doesn't get why we are holding him hostage, a preteen who will keep complaining she's bored, and a teenager who will tell me what hell it is traveling with dad in the moving truck everytime we stop. Me? I'll be the one driving the van and wishing I had Valium.

So if you see a woman in a minivan with a frazzled look on her face and bags under her eyes, try to smile and give her a thumbs up. Why? Because it will most likely be ME and I'll be plotting the best way to leave them all in Alabama again... even though we're not even going through Alabama. Your smile and thumbs up might be the only thing that saves my sanity or at least what little I will have left. ;)

See you on the other side.

We Like To Move It Move It!

Sorry, that's one of A-man's fave songs and it was what entered my mind. lol

Well we are on the move yet again. Vin got a transfer and we are moving to another state on October 27th. Things are obviously a whirlwind around here and we're trying to figure out how to make this move fairly easy on us for once. I don't see that happening but it's always nice to hope. ;) Vin's company isn't paying for relocation, travel, and they also aren't paying him at all for the entire week of work he will miss. This part royally sucks because that is a week's pay we will be out. The new place wants him to start on a Monday. We won't get to the new place until Sunday (we are NOT going to rush ourselves this time) night and there is just no way Vin can start first thing Monday morning so that means he will have to wait an entire week before he can start the new job. This job here says he will be off their books as of October 27th. New place says he won't be ON their books until November 7th. So the week in between we will be floating and paycheck-less.

Vin's mom is helping us however she can and trying to help Vin sort through ideas and plans. Honestly, I'm glad in part because he's already driving me loony as it is. As if a person couldn't tell by the fact that I am posting this at 4am. I haven't been to bed yet. Today is going to suck. lol.

Other news- Big B's donor appealed his child support decision. He felt that it's more important for him to support his STEPchildren and wifey number THREE than it is to take care of his blood children. His name is Kirk Coiner and he lives in Oregon by the way. Feel free to flip him off if you ever see him. Oh and yes, he really did tell a judge that it was unfair that he has to pay the set amount of child support when he has to support his stepchildren, his wife isn't working, and there is nothing left over for him making it worth his time. Nice guy eh? Not only can he ditch his kid but he can try to make him feel even shittier by letting him know that ANYONE ELSE matters more than him. Asshole!

Sis is a big help as always with Lil Man although we butt heads over her trying to be the mommy too much sometimes. If she ever has children (if MEN2a has a cure by it's time for adulthood) or adopts you can bet I'm paying her back for that one. *snicker*

Oh and her donor is worthless too and did his best to screw up her birthday. I'll fill ya in on that one later as well.

Lil Man is forever Lil Man. Our little paleontologist is still learning more and more about dinosaurs everyday. He will even tell you that the T-Rex lived during the "crutaceous time". Blew me away lemme tell ya! I think he's all that keeps the rest of us sane sometimes. He's the laugh we all need when the life is just being sucked out of us. The older two are great with him and I'm always so proud of how much they love him. At least we're doing something right for once.

Off to catch up one of the other blogs. Sleep it seems has evaded me for tonight. Oh well, in three more hours I can just take the high schooler to school and then take a short nap before the other two wake up.

My Girlie Is Eleven Today

I can't believe how quickly these kids are growing up. Today Sis is 11 and I just can't believe that. Thankfully she is an immature 11 which means I don't have to worry about her asking for makeup, wanting a boyfriend, or trying to dress sexy. I get to enjoy her being a kid just a little bit longer.

Last night I sat and thought about every birthday of her's for the last 11 years and couldn't help but smile at the memories. Her doing the Macarena when she was 2. Getting her ears pierced at 8. Her slumber party at 9 and this year the memoral thing will be buying her a bra on her 11th birthday. LOL. Poor kid. She has honestly been the hardest child for me because we knock heads together so much but she is my only little girl and has taught me so much just like the boys. She's an irreplaceable part of this trio that completes my heart.

She's celebrating her birthday tomorrow when her friend is here so I'll wait until after the weekend to post (or complain) about it. ;)

Happy Birthday baby girl. I love you more than words and wish you would quit growing up on me. Could you go back to being two and doing the Macarena for about 10 years maybe?

Pass The Pillow and Blanket Please...

The move went fairly decent with only a few down points here and there. Vin pulled a muscle in his back again, I did too much so I'm exhausted, and there are a few things wrong with the apartment but all in all not a bad move. The one person I was worried about the most ended up taking it the best!

The old house is the only house Lil Man has ever known. We moved in when he was 6 months old so it's always been his "home". I figured he would be upset and disoriented for a few days with maybe a few temper tantrums thrown in. Totally the opposite. He enjoyed running from room to room and the minute he found out that he gets a "playroom" for a few months (due to the older two being made to share a room as punishment) he was on Cloud Nine! Now you can't get the boy out of that room without playing "Let's Make A Deal".

Today we took Sis to her homeschool gymnastics class. My conversation with the Lil Man went something like this...

"Mama, we go Sissy's gymnastics now?"

"Yes sweety, we're going to take Sissy to... when did you learn to say gymnastics so well?"

"Yesserday"

"Yesterday? Who taught you?"

"Sissy told me yesserday that we were going to gymnastics so I say we going to gymnastics too."
"You're so smart. Do you know that?"

"Yes, I'm smart and everybody loves me because I'm Lil Man."

LOL. I can't argue with that now can I? He also informed his father quite loudly the other night that we turn the tv OFF during dinner. We didn't know he had realized that was the rule so it was a little shocking to hear him say it and of course, he is our little Captain Curse Patrol. You can't even say "dang" or "crap" because he will tell you "That's a naughty word and you not pose to say it!". It gets on your nerves sometimes but to be honest I have cleaned up my language some thanks to him. LOL. He's definately a keeper. The other two... welllllllllllllll the warranty ran out on them long ago so I'll keep them around. Besides, I'm just a little bit attached to the rotten little turkeys. :)