Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Should Just Install A Zipper

Well the results of my neck ultrasound came back and while the good news is that we don't see any new cancerous lymph nodes, the bad news is that I do have a lymph node that is pressing on my carotid artery. What does this mean? Well it means I get to have my neck opened up again to have that lymph node taken out.

Another awful scar on my neck.

Where everyone can stare at me even more.

And I can feel even more hideous.


I'm not taking this very well right now to be honest. It's an easy surgery so there's no worry there, it's just not what I was hoping for. I guess I was hoping to hear that I just had a swollen node, take antibiotics, it will go down, and done deal. I should have known better because is it EVER that easy with me?

Maybe I should just have them install a zipper in my neck and that way anytime we need to go in there we can just unzip it, take out what's bad, and zip it back up. I wonder if I could get one of those clear zippers. Hmmmmm. The possibilities are endless I tell you!

Okay so I'm trying to joke my way through this. Just bare with me alright?

Anyway- please let me know what you think of my What Mothers Do book review (because I feel it's one of my best yet). Thanks

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Soggy Heathens At The Fair

Last year I took the kids to our first New Mexico State Fair and we honestly had a really good time. So much so that I've been looking forward all of this year to going again. When our local homeschooling group said they were setting up a day we could all go, get in free, and have free parking... I was there!

Wednesday the weather was great so why shouldn't it be on Thursday as well? Why? Because I didn't go to the damn fair on Wednesday that's why. I went on Thursday so instead of sunny weather we got downpours and drizzling rain for four hours! *grouchy*

We had to arrive at 10am with the group in order to get in which meant looking around at booths, souvenirs, and displays for two hours before the rides opened up. The sky looked icky but my hope was just that it would be overcast but not rain. Do you want to know what happened? You do don't you?

I took MonkeyBoy to McDonald's Farm the same as last year where he had fun again but was a little miffed that instead of ice cream as a prize this year it was apple slices from McDonald's. Him being my son he asked the lady "Is the ice cream in the box too? I think you forgot the ice cream". When the girl told him that they had yummy apple slices this year he actually told her "thank you" and waited until we were at the Petting Zoo to say "Apple slices suck!". *snort* I thanked him for not saying that in front of the woman and told him I know apple slices aren't ice cream but he'd get something fun and yummy later.

After the Petting Zoo we went looking through some of the vendor stalls and MB found a giant lollipop he wanted. Usually I would tell him that no chance in hell was he getting a huge sugar infested sucker but I figured this was once a year...hell with it. How does he thank the lady once she gives him the sucker? He hands her his bag of apple slices and says "Here, they are good for you and you should have them nice lady". LMFAO I thought I was going to pee my pants when he did that! The rotten shit was determined to get rid of those apples and figured out a way to do it too!

TEN FLIPPING MINUTES before the rides were to open up it started raining. At first it was a little drizzle but which I figured was no big deal. It would quit, they'd dry off the rides, and I could let MonkeyBoy ride to his heart's content. Yeah, not happening because then it decided to downpour sending everyone for cover.

Anyway- long story short, the kids had flatbread for the first time ever, I spent $14 to get MB a generic ass Care Bear and a Spiderman, the oldest kept coming to see me for money before taking off with his friend, MB was a royal pain in the ass and wouldn't let me look at anything, my feet got soaked, and as if that wasn't enough the kids decided that since it was raining they wanted to go to the mall! OY!

Mama's legs hurt like a sumbitch to say the least. The day was still fun though because we spent it together. MB was a turd but he has a way of following up being a butt with being a doll so you can't help but forgive him. Sis was a huge help all day and did really great. I enjoyed spending time with her. Big B... well I saw him twice at the mall and one of those times was while he was walking with blood pouring out of his mouth. Yeah, fake blood capsules are really damn funny you little weenie! Of course, me being me I looked back at him walking behind me and said REALLY LOUD, "Mouth off to me again and I'll punch you twice as hard next time"! hehe The looks I got....priceless.

It was a long day to say the least but we got out of this house and spent some time together so while I wish we had a great day at the Fair, it wasn't meant to be. Of course, Friday it was all sunny and nice again. Damn weather.

I'm still recovering at this point and would you believe the rotten little heathens want to go to a Tattoo and Music Festival today??? Mom's wiped out but let's drag her fat ass all over, listen to loud music, and possibly kill her! Obviously they still think they actually GET something when I die. HAHAHA Suckers!!!

*thinking* The flyer DOES say free piercing with purchase of jewelry. Mama HAS been considering a nose piercing...hmmmm.

To Be Continued...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Are You Talkin' Ta Me?

*holding up my wireless keyboard all He-Man like*

"By the power of Blogger...I HAVE THE POWERRRRRRR!!"


For those who asked, I'm doing fine. I finally got meds for a wicked sinus infection I've had for about a week so today that is feeling much better and even though I don't have pernicious anemia, my doctor felt my B12 levels were low enough to warrant a shot yesterday. I've just got too many things that connect to B12 deficiency at this point to ignore it so I'm crossing my fingers that this little shot will fix a few things that are wrong with this ragged body of mine. ;)

I still don't have my ultrasound results back yet but the tech told me that all he saw was a swollen lymph node on my carotid artery so no big deal. *raising eyebrow* This thing is pushing on my artery and possibly causing mini-strokes but no one thinks it is a big deal. Niceeeeeee, no wonder most patients say screw it and ignore their health. If you try to get someone to listen to you then you're basically treated like some kind of hypochondriac!

Personally, I have way too many things I could be doing in my life instead of making up fake illnesses. Hell, I would rather pick toe jam than have one more damn health problem at this point. This is frustrating to say the least.

So that's it, I know a great big steaming pile of NottaDamn right now. Yes, it stinks but after awhile you get use to the smell trust me. *snort*

Oh yeah, I'll tell you about the trip to the fair that was but wasn't tomorrow. *eyeroll* And if there is a PBS Kids ad below this post then click the damn thing... I get money for that ya know! :p

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Badge of Honor, Baybee

Kelly had the right idea when she did this post. Being a Swaggering, Narcissistic, Swashbuckling Blogger is cooooooooool. I bet the "cool kids" don't have this yet!

*sticking out tongue*

Wait, does that make me vain and petty? Does it? Oh gee, I really hope so!!! *snort*

Thank you to everyone who commented on my post about the kids. I have not only wonderful children but wonderful blog friends as well. I appreciate that.

Tomorrow I take the kids to the State Fair. Wish me luck because Mama is gonna be wiped outtttt for days afterwards! lol

Oh and by the way, watch this blog and my reviews blog for a chance to win a Deluxe Cinderella dress up costume from Little Adventures coming soon. As in next week. As in, if you read here regularly, have little girls, and DON'T enter I take you off the VIP list! HA!! MonkeyBoy received a Fireman costume from them and I'm honestly impressed with the quality of it.

So let everyone you can think of know so they can enter too!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

That's So Not Fair...

The prior TIA/mini-strokes that I've had were very small and hardly noticed by me much less anyone else. They were okay but the larger one I had on Sunday that sent me to the ER (larger mini-stroke not a regular one) seems to have affected my kids in a way that not even cancer was able to and it's breaking my heart.

Sis is stuck to me like glue now. She's in a constant state of worry and nothing I say makes her relax any. If I go out of this house she calls my cell phone several times to make sure I'm alright. If I'm in a room she has to be close by. She won't even plan anything for her 13th birthday besides spending the day with me/the family. Your 13th birthday is special or at least it should be.
It's sweet and I've talked to her about things and let her know that it's my job to worry about her not the other way around but it doesn't seem matter. :(

MonkeyBoy is pretty bad too. Every time I leave the house and come back he gives me a hug and tells me he thought I died and even gets pretty graphic about the details which I have no clue where he could get it because he watches Noggin and such. ??? In fact, what made me write this post is the fact that MonkeyBoy brought me a picture a few minutes ago. A picture of tall Mommy and her little boy. Do you know WHY he made it for me? His exact words were "If I die you can look at this and still remember and love me". *crying* He's FOUR for crying out loud!! *He also just said to me that if I die he wants to die too so I won't be alone. Yeah, I'm bawling.*

This makes my heart ache so much because they are my babies and I've always tried to keep this kind of stuff away from them. They know my chances of some things are higher than normal but I've always done fairly well convincing them I'll be fine. This time I can't and I don't know if it's because it's just not processing for them... or if it's because I don't really believe Mommy will be okay myself.

Anyway- sorry for the bummer post but I needed to do it just to get it out. I've talked to the kids about death this week and let them know that this body is just skin and bones, it's my heart and what's inside that holds the intense love for them. Even if my body isn't here, I will always be close by and I will live as long as they live because they will keep me alive in their hearts.

Yeah, that is sooooooo not working at this point! Ugh.

*********IMPORTANT EDIT***********

There is a blog I visit regularly called Hope For Holly. The blog is kept mostly by the husband, Scott, and has documented his wife, Holly's, life since being diagnosed with Stage III Colon Cancer in January of this year.

I just went to the blog to catch up and found this post- "Head Shaving Weekend"

Please visit and watch the video. You will be awed, humbled, and definitely grab the Kleenex. This woman is so amazing. Thank you.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

So A Blonde Walks Into Her Doctor's Office...

and two hours later leaves wishing she'd never gone in the first place. Hmmmm how do I share the news with you? I guess I just bluntly say it. Went to the endocrinologist on Friday and....

They are testing me for Celiac Disease- I'm pretty sure I don't have it.

They are testing me for Pernicious Anemia- I won't be surprised if this one comes back positive and I'm almost hoping it does because it would explain so many of my small health problems. How is this treated? B12 shots once a month for the rest of my life. Hell, they poke me for blood almost once a month so no biggie in my opinion. I will however have to keep a copy of my results with me for future doctors.

We found out that during my neck surgery they moved my carotid artery on the left side of the neck and there is a lump either on or around it which could mean one of two things; The medullary cancer has chosen where to start a new tumor or I have a Peripheral Aneurysm on my Carotid artery. New tumor means I wait because I'm not being chopped open for one damn tumor! Aneurysm means... I have no stinking clue! LOL

There is also a good chance I had a Transient Ischemic Attack at some point which wouldn't surprise me. I've been wondering when stress would start hitting my heart and without adrenal glands it's really easy to do.

The stomach problems may be Mesenteric Ischemia which I really don't care either way. If I have the anemia then that can also explain my stomach problems after I eat.

Are you ready for the REALLY good stuff? No? Why not? Well ya get it anyway! I've been having adrenaline surges lately. For someone who has only a very tiny piece of one adrenal gland left and who is on controlled steroid treatment, this should not happen. One of the few times it can happen is when a new adrenal tumor starts. That's right folks, the adrenal tumor is most likely back on that tiny little piece they left in me meaning they would have to chop me open AGAIN!!

Adrenaline surges, facial flushing, sweating, headaches, and my blood pressure was 121/94 which is quite high for me. I usually run 92/64 on most days and 94/72 on stressed days. Just fucking great.

I'm not sad, I'm pissed off because I was ready for being tired all the time due to adrenal insufficiency. I was ready for trouble with weight and such due to thyroid cancer and no thyroid. I sure as hell wasn't ready to go through this all AGAIN already!!! I also wasn't ready for all these stupid syndromes I have now. I've got more damn syndromes than a Medical Journal! It wasn't suppose to be this way and that pisses me off!!

No one said anything about chronic pain, fibromyalgia, vertigo, nerve damage, neuropathy, arms giving out suddenly, or any of this other BS. I'm 32 years old and I have the body of an 80 year old! That is so messed up!

So anyway- I have an ultrasound on my neck September 17th and the blood results should be in this week as well. I'll let you know what they are. The test I have to take for the adrenal tumors will be in next week (around the 22) because I have to pee in a jug, stick it in my fridge, and then give it to the lab people. Sounds like a blast doesn't it? LMAO.

Anyway- if you read all that I appreciate it. Tomorrow is Mad Click Monday so don't forget to join us okay?

Thursday, September 06, 2007

I'm Cut Off Too!!

My friend Eliza and I cut ourselves off on Monday. No, we didn't tell the hubbies they were S.O.L in the "mommy and daddy are just wrestling" department. Okay so my poor hubby guy knows not to even ask anymore (damn lack of adrenal glands!) but that's not what I'm talking about.

Last week Eliza and I agreed to drink more water and NO soda this week. That's right ME, who has more soda in her veins than blood figured I needed to drink more water so I'd give it a go. Of course, I didn't know last week that I would spend THIS week with business calls everyday, reviews galore to write, and more email than I think I've ever had. Yes, I'm blond I admit it.

My thoughts? If it wasn't for doing this with Eliza I'd be on a soda IV drip right now. I'm also finding out that the Third Realm of Hell is not having a 4 year old who doesn't listen and two teenagers. Oh no, it's trying to go a week drinking nasty ass water and not having my beloved Wild Cherry Pepsi.

You think I'm kidding? Imagine a woman with the worst PMS you've ever seen. Now times her by 12 and you have me this week. When I told the kids I was starting on Monday their exact words were "Run for it!! Mom's off her drug!!!". Yes, even my children know I love my soda more than any pain drugs they could give me. LOL.

So if you decide to be a total nut job like Eliza and I, my suggestion is to have a buddy to go through it with. Having Eliza ask me everyday how I was doing and being able to joke with her about it truly made this bearable.

Eliza- thanks for doing this with me Hun. One more day! Or are we counting the weekend too? Oh dear stars tell me the weekend isn't included! I'll probably cry. LOL.

Once this is over....kidney stones here I come!! Woohoooo