TURN OFF THE NEWS...

This is an unknown person's brilliant take on what happened Friday :

"You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here's why.

It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN's article says that if the body count "holds up", this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer's face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer's identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don't sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem. You can help by turning off the news."

I couldn't agree more Anonymous person, except I DO feel that when its harder to get help for mental health than it is to get a gun, we need better laws. So let's please always remember...

Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Olivia Engel, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Madeleine F. Hsu, 6
Catherine V. Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Aveille Richman, 6
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison N. Wyatt, 6
Rachel Davino, 29
Dawn Hochsprung, 47 (principal)
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Lauren Russeau, 30 (substitute teacher)
Mary Sherlach, 56 (counselor)
Victoria Soto, 27 (teacher)

More in depth about the victims- Who They Were

Our Darkest Day- My 9/11 Tribute

This is a poem I wrote seven years ago today as I watched the events of 9/11 unfold. I'm afraid it's a very raw poem and not very "professional" but it was my heart that day. My heart hurt for those who had so suddenly lost loved ones, hatred took root as I wondered what kind of monsters could be that sick and demented, and fear took hold as I worried if my children were now suddenly in danger.

"Our Darkest Day" was published a year later in the book "911: The Day America Cried". All proceeds benefit the Todd Beamer Foundation & I am proud to say I did not receive a single penny of any of it! :)

Our Darkest Day

Somewhere today a child cries

For a mother who’ll never come home

A wife waiting to hear from her mate

Sits shaking by the phone.

A sister thinks about words she said

And knows she can’t take back

A brother screams out ‘Why us God?!’

As dust settles from the attack

In streets usually alive with bustle

Now silence and sirens are all that’s heard

Families looking for signs of hope

Just waiting for a word.

In the shadows of a tragedy

A nation is mourning from sea to sea

Who could have done such an awful thing?

God, who can this demon be?

So many questions left unanswered

So much pain left to be felt

But as a nation we swear to our dead

That justice will be dealt.

For they may have struck a horrible blow

But they failed to remember one thing

That even on our Darkest Day

The bells of Liberty ring.

Jolene Coiner

9/11/01
© Jolene Coiner Burzycki

Even The Dentist Is Out To Get Me

Have you ever had the feeling that everyone in the known universe is out to get you? Up until today, I've been thinking that it's mostly just doctors who have it out for me. *nervous laugh* Boy have I been wrong!

Today I had a dental appointment to have molds made of my teeth and I figured that since my top right molar has been hurting me lately, I would ask the dentist if we could have it pulled soon. It just so happens that he was able to do it today so silly me thought it would just be a regular run of the mill tooth pulling. I am happy to say that the tooth came out like a normal tooth and the pain hasn't been all that bad.

No, the bad part happened about two hours ago when I felt something hard moving around in my mouth. Thinking it was part of my tooth coming out, I pulled the object out to find not a tooth but a DRILL BIT!! That's right, the dentist had failed to inform me that at some point he broke the end off of a drill bit in my mouth. Maybe it's just me but I think that's something that should be shared with a patient don't you? Even my husband was shocked and believe me, it takes A LOT to surprise that man!

So tomorrow I get the pleasure of calling the dentist's office and asking them what the hell they were thinking (or not thinking) by not letting me know that there could be a piece of metal floating around in my tooth socket. I'm so fucking sick of incompetant doctors I could honestly scream. *sigh*

I would now like to open comments to anyone else who would like to share their dental horror story for the sake of making ME feel better. Just kidding but I would like to hear your stories in hopes that it's not just me that attracts crap like this.

UPDATE: Kirk Coiner Wants To Pay LESS

Before I give the newest update I would like to say that since my original post on Kirk Coiner I have found out many things. One of them is that he tells people that he gave up parental rights to my son a long time ago when in reality, he's never even asked to do so. My son thought he was beyond being hurt by this asshole but hearing that really did hit him. How would you feel if your "father" lied to people that you weren't his anymore? Only a heartless scumbag can do something like that.

I also was in touch with Wifey3 several times through MySpace and in those messages she informed both myself and the mother of Kirk's other child that she was working on getting the kids' payments and that Kirk cared sooooo much for his kids. Wifey2 (I won't use her name out of respect for her. I actually LIKE her! lol) even went so far as to allow Kirk one last chance at contact with his daughter. In return she got a bullshit letter from the WIFEY, nothing from Kirk, and never heard from him again. The daughter is several years younger than my son (11 years old at present I believe) so can you imagine the devestation she must have felt? Thankfully her mother found a wonderful man a long time ago that is a great father to her.

So while some might think I'm just a vengeful bitch the truth is that I do this because it's not me being hurt but my child. It's not Wifey2 being hurt but her daughter. These two kids never did a damn thing to this man. They never abandoned him, hurt him, or showed him that everything else in the world was more important than him.

In the beginning all they (and we mothers) wanted from Kirk was for him to be a father for his children. When we realized that wasn't going to happen then all we asked was that he help pay to raise his children. When that didn't work we pretty much both gave up on ever getting anything from him (money or care for his children).

I for one am tired of custodial parents having to give up and let these assholes just walk away. Our courts and legal system don't care about these children either so in a way they are just as bad as the deadbeat. In my experience, state child support offices work for the deadbeats and not the children. They are more worried about contacting the deadbeat ninety million times and letting them lie than getting anything for our kids. How do we change this?

The only way I know of is to write the Senators, Congressmen, and Legislators of the states our cases are in hoping that one of them will care. The other thing we can do is fill the internet as I do with my posts. I can not be sued for them because anything I post can be proven either in writing or firsthand witness willing to sign an affidavit. I have not posted Kirk Coiner's hometown, address, phone number, cell phone number, or Wifey3's cell number even though I have all of the above. My ass is covered so my voice will be heard. Not for myself but for my son.

Now to the News I received yesterday...

How does one pay LESS when they really don't even pay anything at all? Can anyone tell me that?

I received notification that Kirk Coiner has filed for a modification of child support. Obviously the nothing and next to nothing he has paid over the last few years was too much to him. Yes, Kirk Coiner feels that his son isn't worth the $350 a month that he is SUPPOSE to pay. How's that for kicking your own blood in the teeth?

This is the second time Kirk Coiner Has done this. The first time he asked that the $140 a month he was suppose to pay be lowered. Yes, LOWERED.

The funny thing is that the least Kirk Coiner can claim he makes is minimum wage. I was told today by my support case worker that at minimum wage he will be ordered to pay.... are you ready?... $350!!!! ahahahahahaha

Eat that you disgusting pathetic piece of shit!

About A BOY...Kirk Coiner Is Still A Deadbeat

Yes, I'm such a "bitch" that I'm making sure no one forgets that Kirk Coiner is a deadbeat who owes over $20,000 in back child support for his son who is now 17 years old. Oh and even though Kirk Coiner has our mailing address he sent his son NOTHING again for his birthday this year. No card, no gift, no get fucked I don't give a shit....nothing. Nice.

Kirk Coiner can take hunting trips, fishing trips, etc but he can't pay steady support. Kirk Coiner can afford internet service (he was on MySpace last night AND today) but he can't pay support OR send his kid a card for his birthday. Way to be a man there.

The reason I keep making these posts by the way is because they show up on a Google search and since I leave the MySpace profile and blog open, anyone who is considering hiring Kirk Coiner or anything else can read all about him. Oh and no, Lacey, him getting a job does not mean support for me. It just means more money for him because he doesn't use any of it on his son so I really don't give a shit if I screw up his chance at some job.

I also do it because I'm tired of deadbeat dads who go on with their lives never helping their kids or taking care of them. Then they get with these stupid women who don't blame their husbands for being deadbeats but blame the MOTHER because she just wants help raising her child. Yes, to these women it's our fault that their husband is a deadbeat asshole. It's our fault we just want said deadbeat to help raise his child. In their eyes we should just leave the deadbeat alone and let him live his life.

GROW THE FUCK UP STUPID BITCHES!!!

Kirk Coiner's wife is like this. She throws a fit if her child support for her three kids is even a little late and even took her ex to court demanding her money but I'M a bitch for wanting the same thing. Anyone else think this is pretty fucking stupid?

I guess I don't get this kind of thinking because there are times I even write the checks for my husband's child support to his ex. That's money we could surely use BUT it's also money he owes to help raise his daughter.

That's what a DECENT person does. That's what someone who isn't SELFISH does. That's what someone who is RESPONSIBLE does. They don't fucking whine because the money isn't going to their own children.

Yeah Lacey Coiner, I'm talking to you. And if you two think you deserve a pat on the back for ALMOST paying a full child support payment almost two months ago...think again. I'll pat you on the back when something like that happens more than once a YEAR!

*by the way, I typed out "Kirk Coiner" so many times because I would hate for Google to get lost.

*snort*

Miss Me?

Well I'm afraid you're going to have to miss me for a few days more (except for a review I have to post on here tomorrow for PBN). LOL. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a week but I've been slowly getting sick over the past month and it got really bad from Thanksgiving on. Just as I started feeling better yesterday one of my damn teeth started hurting so now I'm wanting to have someone punch me in the mouth just so it will feel better. Seriously, vicodin isn't even touching it!!

Anyway- I know I missed MCM and I thought about coming on and posting it but it's hard to sit here for long. I've spent the last week getting sick everytime I eat, I had a migraine from hell for four days, I'm exhausted all the time, and the fibromyalgia seems like it is a constant thing right now. Oh and I have handfuls of hair coming out everytime I brush or wash my hair. Luckily I have abnormally thick hair but even it can't last too long! LOL.

As for my scans, hopefully I will know something tomorrow. I finally called and asked what the hell was going on and why haven't they been scheduled if this was all supposedly such a big deal. The M.A. that I talked to said that she will find out who dropped the ball and let them know that these scans are needed ASAP. So that should be taken care of and hopefully things will get rolling now.

So don't give up on me and don't go taking me off your feed readers or I'll still kick your ass! I expect to feel better very soon and I DO have a giveaway I promised to hold.

Oh and on the funny side- I found out that Big B's donor and his wife have been talking about me lately. It seems that Wifey 3 is worried that I'm going to die and they will "get stuck" with Big B. *laughing hard and trying not to pee my pants*. I laughed so hard I almost cried!! What in the hell makes that woman think I would EVER allow Kirk Coiner and her have my son? Is the bitch high? She can quit worrying because I'd tell Big B to live in a cardboard box before I'd let two irresponsible lying assholes have him. Bitch please!

By the way- Kirk STILL isn't paying his child support and now owes my son over $19,750.00, sick isn't it? But he can afford to go fishing and deer hunting of course. Fucking scumsucker.

My Very First Cease & Desist Email!!!

This isn't even a good Cease & Desist email but it's mine, she thinks I've earned it, and dammit I'm going to show it off! Dontcha wish your blog had one? It's sad what people will do when they can't bow other people.

I've removed her last name just to be nice. Since she posts it all over the internet and even on her own website I could post it but really, I am like le bored with this. Sending Cease & Desist letters for really no reason at all is when things become beyond childish.

What is it with people who want to cram things down your throat getting mad when you refuse to chew?? Had I just backed down and shook my head like a good girl I could have avoided this. Thank goodness I didn't do something stupid like that!!!! As far as I was concerned we were done yesterday. Oh well. *le sigh*

from Gayla _____ <@beingniceandnotprinting.com>
to Jocoiner AT gmail DOT com (changed for spam reasons)
date Jun 16, 2007 6:10 AM

subject
Cease and Desist

Dear Ms. Coiner ~
This is an order to cease and desist immediately. Legal and binding.

At no time in my posts did I ever link to you, insult you by name.

I have been informed by a couple of your readers (copies of your posts were emailed to me for my files as well as screenshots of the posts) that you are using my name and my website names on your blog.

Please be advised that if my name and my sites are not removed immediately I will take legal action. And if you believe this can't be done, do a search on blog comments lawsuits.

It's one thing to keep a pissing match in the comments where I link to my sites myself, but it's another for you to insult me by name within your posts and to do so repeatedly.

Please be so kind as to remove them at once or I will take legal action up to contacting the affiliates on your link with a formal complaint.

Believe me, I can and I will.

Regards,
Gayla _______ (again I'm being nice but it's not like she doesn't advertise her last name herself)

Can Ya Stand One More Post?

*Unfortunately the comment I speak of below was eaten by Blogger which I apologize for because it is suppose to be with the previous post. So that is why if you are trying to figure out who the commentor is, you're not able to find the comment. UGH.*

Don't worry, I'm not going off on a rant again. lol. After I posted earlier and the anger settled down I was left feeling somewhat badly. Not for anything I said to Ms. *she wants me to take her name off my site because you know, it's not like you can find it on her's or anything* personally because to be completely blunt and honest I still think she's *not a very nice person*, people like her make me sick, and there is nothing for me to apologize for...to her.

I do owe anyone with HPV or any form of cancer an apology though. It's my blog so I can say whatever the hell I want, true. I don't HAVE to apologize to anyone, that's the great thing about having a personal blog. I am apologizing because instead of just making my point on some things in my post I ended up coming across as one lady who commented was nice enough to point out, like I was "engaging in a pissing contest about cancer" and that was never my intentions. *The commenter emailed me and told me that she had meant the OTHER person not me. I always just instantly think I'M the one in trouble! lol*

I also will say that I haven't researched HPV enough to be considered even a novice in it much less an expert. The above commenter also stated that she has done alot of research and HPV is not exclusively sexually transmitted. When I searched the FDA site though it said "HPV (human papillomavirus) is a sexually transmitted virus. It is passed on through genital contact (such as vaginal and anal sex). It is also passed on by skin-to-skin contact". Stated the way they have it comes across to me that skin to skin contact would mean things like oral sex, anal sex, fondling, or "dry humping" as it has been put. Are there other ways? Anyone (BUT Ms. because I'm tired of her ass) that knows please feel free to educate me. I would greatly appreciate it. It won't change my mind on the vaccine but I never have a problem learning more about something.

The NIAID states "You can get them during oral, vaginal, or anal sex with an infected partner. You can also get them by skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, or (rarely) oral sex with someone who is infected" which covers pretty much what I thought above.

WomensHealth.Gov, Cancer.About.com, and the CDC say the same thing but the CDC does state "Rarely, a pregnant woman can pass HPV to her baby during vaginal delivery" so there is at least one instance where it is not sexually transmitted. I just can not find any others is the problem. The only other thing I found was a site stating that the HPV that forms warts on other parts of the body is not transferrable by touching them.

I have only posted the links to sites because these are the places people turn to when searching for information on HPV not to go against what my commenter said or start another "cat fight". I would honestly greatly appreciate it if my commenter would come back and share some links or written references with us so we can all learn. If what she said is true then there is alot to this story and people need access to it.

Anyway- I apologize to anyone who felt I was trying to have a pissing contest over cancer. That was never my intention. My intention was to tell someone else that cancer affects everyone in different ways and no one cancer is more important or less important. I only posted the comments about my own health because I am the person whom I know about the most and not for a pity party or "my life is worse than yours" type crap. Those that know me know I would never do that.

As far as I'm concerned the pissing contest part of this all is over with. Ms. *yeah, same stupid crap here too. We having fun yet?* lost any chance of me respecting her views when she said she doesn't do cat fights and then not only reposted a comment of her's from this site onto her site so she could get the last word but also made sure to do another post letting us non-HPV vaxing mothers know how stupid we are. She even went so far as to mock a commenter here that I am very fond of. At least I'm honest about when I'm intentionally causing shit and when I'm not.

All I know is I might be a bitch, obnoxious, rude, and anything else people might think but I would never think so highly of myself as to ASSume my thoughts or way on ANYTHING was the ONLY way and Dr. Ruth can stick that in one of her books!. ;)

Silly Me, Thyroid Cancer Is Nothing

If you read my last post you will know that I'm not to fond of Ms. *edited so she'll shut up* (she also runs *edited so she'll shut up* in case anyone thinks I didn't know). We have different opinions on the HPV vaccine which I don't have a problem with. Belitting those of us who have decided it's not for our daughters is another thing. Even in the comments section on her blog she seems to think I'm stupid and do not realize that she's still telling us that there will come a day when we will have to come up with "pathetic lame excuses" to give our daughters about why they didn't get the vax. I may not be the most articulate writer when it comes to my blog but I am definately not stupid and very good at reading between the lines.

To the point though. In the comments on her post she took it upon herself to basically inform me that thyroid cancer is pretty much no big deal. I mean, after all we have a 96% survival rate. ALL of us. Can you believe that? Why we're second only to prostate cancer so no more bitching from you guys with prostate cancer! It's not as important as cervical cancer don't ya know.

*insert HUGE fucking eyeroll here*

I'll just do a clip for you from her. Feel free to read the entire comment at her site.

"And NO thyroid cancer and cervical cancer are two very different cancers and one is not as invasive as the other. There is a big difference between a cancer that is genetic and one that is sexually transmitted. Survival rate of thyroid cancer is 96%. The second highest survival rate only behind prostate cancer. The overall (all stages combined) survival rate for cervical cancer is about 72%"

So see, thyroid cancer is nothing compared to cervical cancer! Yeah, well I'll print my comment in it's entirety.

"The only thing I will comment on is the fact that the survival rate for thyroid cancer is broken down by stages so NO it’s not just a 96% survival rate just like survival rate for cervical cancer is NOT just 72%. MY survival rate is 16% right now thank you very much (inserting to say I should have said statistically). I’d much rather have cervical cancer because at least then I’d be able to fight it. I’d have a chance at remission. I’d have some control even if I ended up losing the fight at least it wouldn’t be while spending my life wondering where they are going to cut me next.

I have metastatic MEDULLARY thyroid cancer. Do your research. I don’t get the option of chemo or radiation. Instead I get to be cut open like a Thanksgiving turkey anytime a tumor shows up. Do I get to live for awhile? We don’t know. If it doesn’t go to my bones then I could live a good 20 years or so. If it hits my bones I’ll have about 4 years.

Thank you for trying to diminish the threat to myself and other thyroid cancer survivors though. That is GREATLY appreciated. I’ll make sure I tell my friend at Thyca that it’s no big deal because we have a 96% survival rate and are beating the crap out of cervical cancer.

Metastatic cervical cancer IS preventable with awareness and being active in your own healthcare.

Metastatic thyroid cancer is preventable by doing the same things. The only difference is something might have shown up on your yearly exam. My cancer doesn’t show up on TSH tests or most normal cancer markers because it attacks calcitonin which is something we all naturally make. So until YOU walk a mile in MY shoes then quit thinking you’re more important than you are. Again, I’ve dealt with people like you who say they are experts and I have the VISIBLE scars to prove it. You can wipe your arse with your credentials for all they are worth.

And just for your information, I know it’s probably not as important as the almighty cervical cancer but a seperate cancer also took my adrenal glands and lady, I would have much rather lost my cervix and uterus like my sister than lost my adrenal glands. If you have no clue what all the adrenal glands do then by all means inform yourself".

You know, EVERY cancer has it's difficulties. There are two sides to every coin- there are the people who get a form of cancer and it's taken care of quickly and easily. Then there are those who live with and die from cancer and it's hell. I don't even feign to deem myself in the latter group but I am in the middle. I will never hear the words "remission" or "cured" but I also will never hear the words "you have six months to live". It's a double edged sword. Yes, most people can get chemo and radiation for their thyroid cancer and have a good chance of hearing those first words but they can also be the person that is announced as losing their fight on my thyroid cancer group. NO cancer is more important than another though and no fight means more than another.

My last comment... "And yes you are right, there is a HUGE difference between a genetic cancer and a sexually transmitted one. I didn’t have any choice whatsoever in getting mine. You at least had the choice of sleeping with the person you slept with. I in no way think you deserved HPV because I would never wish it on anyone but still, you and most women with it including my sister were at least able to make the choice of having sex with the person/people you did. I was born with this imbedded in my DNA and never even had that option".

I will also post and reply to her follow-up here so we can close this back and forth..."That’s a terrible thing to say! I made the choice to marry and raise a family — I did not choose HPV no more than you chose what happened to you."

I will again say YOU made a choice. You had a choice. I never said you chose HPV and you know it. What I said is that you chose to have sex. Plain and simple. HPV is transferred through sex. You had sex. You chose the person you had sex with when you married him. It was a bad choice and believe me, I can completely understand that one but you CHOSE, *edited so she'll shut up, whether you like it or not. You never deserved it and neither does anyone else no matter how many people they do or don't sleep with but you made a choice that led to an outcome just like Patsy (the lady in my tribute) chose to smoke. She didn't deserve lung cancer and she sure as hell didn't deserve to die but she also wasn't shocked when they told her because she chose to smoke.

THAT is the huge difference between genetic cancers and sexually transmitted ones. We who have genetic cancers never chose to do anything that even remotely lead to this. Had I been diagnosed with lung cancer because I smoked, or cervical cancer because I had sex and got HPV, or throat and mouth cancer because I chewed tobacco I would still say the same thing that I am to you now.

Your choices and your or anyone else's cancers don't trump my genetics or anyone else's cancers but if you want to play that game and feel cervical cancer is harder and more important (as your replies imply) then you go right ahead. You want to side with Science then just remember that Science is pretty adament about the fact that HPV is a result of having SEX... an actual physical act that is under regular circumstances a choice of engaging in.

I do want to say again though that I am not saying anyone deserves HPV or cervical cancer. I would never wish either one on anyone and I DO understand how awful both are. I also take offense though to being told that something someone caught through sex is higher up on the chain than something someone (not just me) was genetically predisposed to get. That's just rude and ignorant!

I side with Science too, *edited but I mean really, like you can't find her name on her own site*, but unlike you I also choose to care about and see both sides of it.

No worries folks this is my last post on this. Tomorrow it will be back to the fun stuff!

Ever Seen A Ticked Off Amazon??

If not you will now! Sometimes blogsurfing can end up being a very BAD thing like when you come across some *edited so she won't cry* blog and they post something like this...

"And why shouldn’t we vaccinate our daughters?"

My comment pretty much states my thoughts. Now before anyone thinks this is another debate post about whether or not people should have their daughters get the HPV vaccine, please just know that it's not.

I'm a pretty easy going person. YOU do what YOU think is best for YOUR family and I will do what I think is best for MINE. It really is that easy. I have no right telling you what to do with your children and I wouldn't presume to know what is best for them. It's just not me and I deserve the same respect in return.

If you want to get the HPV vaccine for your daughter, *edited so she'll shut up*, then you go right ahead. More power to ya but I've chosen after much reading and research (least anyone think I just tossed a coin or some shit) to NOT have my daughter vaccinated. If at any time she comes to me and says she wants to get it then I will take her to have it done but it will be her decision. In this house we discuss pretty much everything so I have no doubt that she will let me know.

Whether or not she gets it now or when she's eighteen is her choice and a decision in OUR family so don't you dare fucking say I'll be "faced with having to tell their daughters they didn’t get them Vaccinated because… (insert pathetic lame excuse here)".

Pathetic lame excuse? Pull your head out of your ass lady because obviously it's up there pretty damn far! So just because I'm not running out and doing what YOU are then any reasons I will never have to give later will be pathetic lame excuses?

I'm usually pretty mellow and only save this for "special" people but here it is....

Go fuck yourself!

For You "Anti-Paid Post" Bitchers

People who are bitching about bloggers doing paid posts are really starting to piss me off!! The "Oh I don't do paid posts nope never will and refuse to read blogs that do" posts just plain suck! You know, it's really nice if you don't need extra money or if you are able to work a full time job out of the home or if you are one of the "elite" and get paid to blog by other means but that's not an option for everyone.

Some people have disorders, diseases, phobias, and restrictions that make working outside of the home hard but yet they still want to contribute somehow. You already feel pretty damn worthless when someone else is the only one paying all the bills. Doing paid posts is a way for some people to earn even a little extra money to help out.

For me, I would love to get a job out of the home but it's just not in the cards for me anytime soon. Our copays for medications alone (all of my meds most of which keep me alive and two children on Synthroid) average $150- $250 a month depending on whether or not I'm on something new for fibro pain, or something new for the nerve damage and pain, or it just happens to be a month I actually get to try a painkiller that might make things bareable. That's not including all the doctors' appointments I have every month with 4 different doctors (general doctor, oncologist, endocrinologist, rheumatologist, and someone new tossed in every so often), radiology for scans three times a year, bloodwork monthly plus four times a year for the kids, and all the other "fun" shit we go through.

By doing paid posts I am finally able to aleviate some of the burden from my husband's back and say "I've got this one honey". That's a damn fine feeling and if your snotty "oh I won't read blogs with paid posts" asses can't understand that then I am very grateful that you will no longer read my blog! Off with you and don't let the URL hit ya in the ass on your way out!

Get off your high horses and get over yourselves! There isn't a damn one of you that I've seen so far who is all that important anywhere other than in your own minds whether you write on one blog or ten!

I'm glad you don't have to do paid posts because believe me, I'd really rather not have to myself but for right now I do. I work very hard to make sure my readers have more actual posts to read than sponsored posts. I try to give at least (if not more) two good posts for everyone one paid post because I do care about the people who are nice enough to keep coming back.

Now if you were talking about the blogs that are nothing but paid posts......those assholes irritate the shit out of me too! Pull up an email and we'll bitch about them together. ;)

We're Breast Obsessed...

It's funny how sometimes we bloggers end up choosing the same topics to write about. Last week I saved these two pictures- Tori Spelling breastfeeding pic and Maggie Gyllenhaal doing same so I could blog about them at a later date and give them a big thumbs up! I was so happy to see these celebrity moms being so real and not worrying about what people might think.

Well, it seems that as I was saving and planning, other bloggers were actually DOING. As usual I'm a day late and about ten bucks short but now I can not only talk about Tori and Maggie but now these other bloggers too! :)

Erin at Queen of Spain (her and the Kaiser actually have sex so I make sure never to read her blog when Hubby Guy is around. He might start getting it in his head that he's suppose to be getting some too ya know!) is so sick of remarks by stupid people about breastfeeding/showing that she's decided to free the puppies in support of bare breastfeeding boobies.

I'd say she's doing several things here...

*- The bitch is showing off by releasing the twins because somehow she MUST know my boobs are ten times smaller than her's. She has cleavage even without a push-up bra damn her!

*- I think she's looking for some beads to decorate the twins there. They look so lonely. Don't you think some green and purple would just make them perk right up?? Oh and glitter too! And a few feathers..... what was I saying? Oh yeah...

*- If you ever thought I was blunt then honey, this woman has it down to an art form. You wanna say breastfeeding tits are gross? Well here's a monitor full of them for ya! lol. Great gal and kudos to her! Don't think Erin is alone in her feelings either because Kristie at Slacker-Moms-R-Us has posted some beautiful pics of her and her lil one nursing. That last one is just heart melting!

It's not only women who are sick of the stupid comments about breastfeeding, Karl whipped his out in support of Erin too! This guy is great but why does he have my husband's chest? Hmmmm maybe he's Italian too. lol I'm so proud of all these men and women who are saying "Screw you, boobies ain't just for playin' tune in Tokyo with"!

Now you didn't think I'd do this post without adding MY two cents did ya? I'm not endowed with a heaving bosom like the Queenie there so I'm afraid you luck out on me flashing the puppies (or in my case the guppies). I do however have two not only breastfeeding pictures to share but EXTENDED breastfeeding pics at that! Yes, I'm one of those weirdos who nursed their kid past the age of two years! To be honest, the only reason we quit when we did was because I had to have my first cancer surgery and the steroids I have to be on wouldn't have been good for MonkeyBoy.

These pictures are from when the little guy was around 22 months old. Every time I look at these pics they remind me of what a beautiful experience breastfeeding was for us to share. It's something I will never ever regret. I'm so proud of my breastfeeding time that I wrote about it on ClubMom's Story From The Heart. Feel free to head over and read- Two Years, Nine Months, and Three Days.

You can also now see these pics as part of the Queen's Tit Brigade. This is an ongoing thing so if you are a current or former breastfeeding mom then send in your pics too!!

For those of you who think breastfeeding mothers or pictures are gross, disgusting, and perverted then I have two things to say. 1- As Erin said "Get the fuck over it. It’s just a boob" and 2- why is it "normal" to show women's breasts in magazines, movies, pictures, and advertisements but when a breastfeeding mother discreetly nurses her child in public you get offended? It's okay to sexualize breasts and convince today and tomorrow's men that our tits are solely here for them to play with and whack to but how dare we even suggest that they might actually have an important function!

Thanks to the fact that I've taught my children that there is an actual functional use for breasts, I can take heart in knowing that my 16 year old son will walk past a big titted girlie magazine without a second glance (as he says "They're tits mom and they're all pretty much the same"), and no he's not gay so don't ask, but when he comes across a mother nursing her child in public he will smile at her and then immediately start looking for stupid people to glare at. LOL. I've taught him well and I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing my future daughter-in-law AND her breasts will be valued as more than just something that jiggles like Jello.

Oh yeah, warning some of those links lead to pictures of naked breasts blah blah blah yadda yadda void where prohibited this offer not available everywhere. ;)

It's Time To Stop The Pain!

Today is National Spank Out Day which means all those opposed to violence against children and spanking in general come together to try to bring an end to the pain being brought to our kids. It's a day we stand up for our children against people like the Pearls (Doc provides the most info hence the link) and say "You are wrong"! By the way, anyone who thinks hitting their children with a piece of plastic tubing is okay needs some serious help. It hurts, I know because I did an experiment last year by trying it on my own arm. Unfortunately that blog is gone but the lesson isn't.

I am a survivor of childhood abuse myself. I was beaten by an ex-stepfather every chance he got. His mother also liked hitting me in the head with a hairbrush and I was slapped in the mouth (not tapped but SLAPPED) by my mother anytime I said something she didn't like. In those days, spanking meant you had to go pick your own "switch" off a bush, peel the bark off it, and then be beat with it. Whenever my mother wasn't looking the sadistic bastard would beat me from shoulders to thighs until he broke the skin. Sometimes it was being hit between the shoulder blades with a 2x4. Of course, then there was always the belt or the electrical tape covered "Big Bertha" aka paddle from hell.

Tell my mom? No thanks, how do you explain your fear and misery to someone who thinks using a belt and special paddle is okay? Besides, he would have just beat both of us more anyway. I hold many things against my mother but I can't blame her for not being strong enough to protect us when she couldn't even protect herself from the man. I do thank her though for finally finding the strength to get us out of there.

I don't hate on people who have spanked (a light tap on the bottom that is) in the past. It's how most of us were brought up and a mistake most of us have made at some point with our own kids. I was pushed to feel like if I didn't "pop" the kids' butts when they were little then I was a bad mother. Even the very few times I did it I was left (and moreso them too) feeling horrible and everytime I even thought about doing it the fear of "Will I become an abuser too?" would haunt me. After a run in (physical) with my own mother I found the strength to parent my kids MY way and everyone else be damned! I'd rather have little heathens than make my kids damaged goods like I am.

If you spank your kids please consider finding an alternative form of discipline. There are so many other less damaging ways to teach our kids right from wrong. The child you hit today may very well become the adult who hits tomorrow and the cycle will continue. As I said, I don't hate and I'm not bashing you for spanking. I'm just asking you as someone who has been there to think about what you're doing.

When a man hits a woman (and vice versa) it's abuse or domestic violence. When an adult hits someone of the same sex it's assault. When a parent hits a child it's discipline. What makes our children worth so much less? Why do we have the right to protection and they don't?

Please don't comment that children who aren't spanked become wild. I have two older children that are great examples of the exact opposite. Children who are not spanked feel safe and they don't grow up to fear objects like belts, tree branches, wooden spoons, hairbrushes, and etc. Children who are not spanked feel respected as human beings. Spanking only teaches children fear and how to become numb to physical and emotional pain.

The problem with our kids today isn't that they don't get "whipped". The problem is we as parents are failing to put them first (I don't mean by not being SAH parents so please don't think that) and the really stupid crap in life second. Would you behave if you felt like Monday Night Football mattered more than eating at the table with you? Would you behave if weekends partying were more important than a snuggle and movie with you? Think about it.

So today, please show your support for National Spank Out Day. Whether it's with a post of your own, displaying a logo or two on your blog, or just telling others around you that there are other choices. If you spank our kids then maybe today would be a good day to start over. Every little bit helps.

As adults we have the ability to choose how we respond. As children they have a right to be protected.

Apologies and a Hug?

I just want to apologize to the people who actually read and follow this blog that it has been so long and then the one post I did do was about a deadbeat dad. So I'm sorry and thank you for sticking around still. That's also where the hug comes in too. :) Many hugs to everyone who has checked for updates and stuck around. It means alot to me and I will try not to take such a long hiatus again.

Let's cover the basics- same crap as usual with the medical stuff except they've added yet another med to the menagerie (it was actually by my request but now I think it's stupid). That is six that I'm on because of the fibro, CMP, and PN and just three that I'm on because of missing organs. LOL. I can't help but laugh that I'm on more for the pain than I am for cancer or organs. My new nickname should be "Train Wreck". hehe

Second- kids are doing well. Monkey Boy (formerly known as Lil Man- he swears he's more monkey and NOT little!) has a slight cold and stuffy nose right now but he's currently running around in his Superman jammies (no he's not STILL in his jammies, he just put this on instead of clothing. lol. If it wasn't so cold you can bet he'd just be nekkid!) and cape. I don't have the heart to tell him that the jammies are a size too small this year and will have to go. I don't have the heart because he'd want new ones and we're so broke at this point that it just ain'ta happenin' ya know?

Third- and this is a biggie, we are hoping to close on our very first home on December 20th. It's both exciting and scary to say the least. It is a very nice house that we got for about $40,000 less than what it's worth because it's a foreclosure so that part is great. There is room for everyone, it's in a fantastic neighborhood (makes you think of Leave it to Beaver. lmao), there is a park and duck pond, there are walking and bike trails, and the neighbors are very friendly. Oh and we will finally have A YARD!!! Yes, after over a year of no yard at all we will finally have a nice sized one for these kids to play in!! Giving my children a home has been a dream of mine for 15 years and being alive to see it come true has brought me to tears many times in the last month. Yes, I'm being a big baby. ;)

The bad part is that it's a 20-30 minute ride into town so that screws the kids on their homeschool park days, spending the nights at friend's often, volunteering whenever they want at the WildLife Rescue, and such. :( I am trying my best to make sure that they get to have someone spend the night (or vice versa) at least once a month and we attend park days once a month as well so they can still be around their friends here but it's still sad. Everytime these kids get comfortable somewhere we have to move and they lose everything. It just plain sucks ass in my opinion!

News that I'm soso on is that MonkeyBoy is turning FOUR at the end of the month. My youngest baby isn't a baby anymore. :( He swears up and down that he wants to stay little so he will always be my little boy but as I told him, he will always be my little boy no matter how big he gets. It still sucks though! lol

I have so much I wanted to post about over the last month or two but now it feels like it would be too late to tell you about it. :( We went to a pumpkin patch with some friends at the beginning of October and had a fantastic time! The place was great and we went on a hayride, then picked out pumpkins from a field (Big B's was over 40lbs), saw a bull with immensely long horns, played in a cornbox (instead of sand it was dried corn, kinda neat), mined for gemstones, went through a maze, and all kinds of great stuff. It was a wonderful mixture of wonderful company and a wonderful place.

Also in October, the kids and I went to see Phantom of the Opera. The show was absolutely amazing and I am so glad we went. The looks on Big B and Sis' faces as they watched the show was priceless and something I will never forget. What made it even more amazing was that the company was the one from Toronto, Canada. The reason that is amazing is because I have wanted to see the Toronto production since I was 14 years old and now I have. :) I highly recommend seeing it and if you homeschool then you may be able to get discounted tickets like the schools do. ;) That is how I was able to take all three kids because otherwise it would have been way too expensive.

November hasn't been much more than trying to buy the new house and doctors' appointments for me every week. I'm giving the Cymbalta (for my fibro) one more month and then probably going off it because it doesn't do anything for me anymore. :( Oh well, at least we tried and now it's on to something else.

Thank you all for sticking around and I will get some fun posts up real soon.

Hugz,
Jo

Kirk A. Coiner- "Just The Facts, Ma'am"

*Updated with a picture of Mr Coiner. .*

I'm sorry to my regular readers that I haven't been around lately. Due to pain and other things going on I just haven't had the energy but I appreciate you always checking for new posts and promise I will give you one soon.

This post is for whoever have been Googling Big B's donor's name lately- Kirk A. Coiner. I feel that if someone (especially another woman) is interested enough to google the name then they may want some information to go with it.

Fact 1- Mr. Coiner owes his firstborn son a current total of $18,462.95 . Mr Coiner owes this amount because for seven years he refused to pay his child support which at the time was only $134.00. Anytime the Child Support Division would try to attach his wages he would quit his job. They couldn't take his income tax return because he didn't file one from 1997 on.

Fact 2- Mr Coiner stood up in court and actually complained when the judge told him he would pay a higher child support amount. It seems Mr Coiner could not pay his previous child support but he could get the money to fly from Oregon to Pennsylvania. You can read what happened here.

Fact 3- Mr Coiner is full aware that his 15 year old son has a rare genetic disorder that causes endocrine cancers. He is also aware that in March of 2005 our son had to have a total thyroidectomy because medullary cancer had already began in him. This means my son will be on lifelong thyroid and parathyroid supplementation. Mr Coiner is SUPPOSE to pay 100% of Big B's medical bills. Instead he paid nothing and that includes child support. He has offered no help nor made any honest effort to show his son that he matters.

Fact 4- Out of the last year Mr Coiner has paid FULL support a total of four times. Four months out of twelve I have recieved a full payment. This stopped when Mr Coiner again quit his job.

Fact 5- The State of Oregon has had to begin proceedings against Mr Coiner to revoke his license at least twice. Of course, Mr Coiner has figured out a way to beat the system and makes sure to pay $20-$25 once every three months to keep his license. Personally I find this disgusting and if it is so important for him to keep his license then maybe he should use it to GET A JOB!!

Fact 6- My husband has had to cover Big B on his insurance because unlike Mr Coiner, we care about whether or not Big B lives. As I said, Mr Coiner is suppose to cover my son on insurance and any bills. Instead my husband and I not only fully support Big B but are also left to pay all co-pays for him as well. As his mother I understand that this goes with the territory and will do whatever it takes to keep my son healthy. His co-pays alone are $75 a month. That may not seem like a whole lot but my daughter (not Mr Coiner's) also has MEN2a and had the same surgery plus I have numerous health problems myself. This means our total copays each month are at least $250 and most times more. This is a very big dent in our income especially when nothing is coming in by way of child support to help out.

I could go on all day but I'm trying to keep this to the facts only. Mr Coiner (no, not you Wifey 3) is more than welcome to TRY to dispute these facts but unfortunately, they are indisputable. I would much rather not have to drag my dirty laundry onto the blogosphere but obviously someone is looking for information on him and I feel they should have the correct information.

Feel free to email me if you are in need of any other information that may be instrumental to your purposes- habits, work history, etc. Thank you.

To my readers, just skip this post and I'll give you a good one in the next few days.

I'd also like to add that you can find him on myspace.com as krikcoin and also as kirkulus1. Funny, it says he's single on there. Does wifey 3 know this?

Legal Blah Blah ;) *All the information in this post is able to be proven through court documents, affidavits, and medical reciepts. This post is for information purposes only and should be used as such.*

Ow, Brain Cramp!

I can't for the life of me think of anything interesting to post about. This month is filled with doctors' appointments and BS mostly. I'm suppose to be cleaning while the hubby is at the dollar theatre with the younger two but I can't get my big butt off this chair. lol

Tomorrow I get to go for my wonderful check for cervical cancer. Oh fun! Am I worried? No even though it's very likely they will find cancer. Why? Because at this point in my life what the hell does one more cancer matter? That's honestly how I look at it as odd as that seems. I'm already condemned to spend what is left of my life getting cut open time and time again because of cancer so what is one more form and one more surgery? I think I'm just desensitized to it at this point is all. I'm also going to ask about getting a hysterectomy either way because I'm sick of the pain from endometriosis all the time. I'm done having babies so take the baby factory out and let me get on with my life! Leave me an ovary though because I'll be damned if I'm taking even MORE pills for the rest of my life! lol No preaching about risk of ovary cancer either. I'll take my chances at this point.

After that I get to chaperone the kids' Science Class at the museum. I stink at chaperoning but that was part of the deal and I only have to do it twice so I can't complain much. As soon as that is finished then it's off to the library for crafts. Once we get home, I have to do some school stuff and have Big B do his TA time with Lil Man. I also have to do some work on my book and start planning my children's book. But according to the hubby I don't do anything. Yeah, bite me buddy!

The kids are good, Big B's birthday is coming up next month and thanks to his donor actually paying his support intermittently (and me saving it anytime it comes), it looks like Big B will get a guitar for his birthday. I figure if he ends up not learning to play it like he says then I can always claim it for homeschooling and try to learn how to play it again myself. lol. Yes, once upon a time I played guitar. I quit though because having to restring a right handed guitar for my lefty self was a pain in the ass. Of course, that was back when lefty guitars cost alot more than regular ones. Now the price difference isn't so bad.

Sis wants to take some form of dance but that is on hold until she can do her chores consistantly. We got her a Hope Chest a few weeks ago though and it's cute seeing her windowshop for household items she wants to put in it. When we bring out the Yule and Christmas decorations this December, I will be giving her all the ornaments I've bought for her every year for the last 12 years. She will then keep them in the chest for when she moves out and has her own tree to hang them on. I always wanted a hope chest but my mother never thought enough of me to get one (big shock there I know). I figured it's the least I can do for my only girl and it will create memories and a bond between us that she will have always.

Lil Man wants to be in karate. That one scares me because I have a feeling he will use his powers for evil and try to take over the world! He may be cute but that's just a ploy to throw you off. He's bent on world domination I tell you! :) Other than that he's just a very verbal regular ornery three year old. He's also hit a very lovey stage right now where he constantly tells everyone he loves them. It's so cute! He also is potty-trained!! YAY! We haven't tested it out in public too much but the few times we have he has done wonderfully. He wears a diaper at bedtime still but here resently he has been dry in the mornings so that is the next thing to go. Accidents are very few and far between for him and I'm just so proud! All we did was let him go at his own pace and as he was ready. So much easier than back when I thought I had to push the oldest two to be trained by a certain time.

So that's about it here. All my babies are growing up and I'm feeling old. How did I go from being a young teen mom with the whole world in front of me to an old cancer filled lady having to take things day by day? Father Time is such a weiner!